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"It
is anal intercourse that the heterosexual man generally thinks of when
he thinks about homosexual sex at all, and it is a possibility that arouses
nearly universal feelings of fear, anger, shame, humiliation, and degradation
in heterosexual men" (Odets,
1995: 189).
"Most
campaigns to encourage gay men to use condoms skirt the issue of signification
altogether, or imply that a change from unprotected to protected is insignificant
and meaningless. Yet swallowing semen or being fucked have tremendous meaning
and provide significant pleasure for individual gay man (Rofes,
1996: 146).
[Micheal]
"When I first came out [in 1978] there was tremendous pressure [in the
gay community] to have sex - I mean you name it, but especially anal sex,
which was something I've never been into. And if you weren't into it, well
then, your growth was stunted, or something like that, and people would
tell you to get into a group to work it out. There was this idea that you
just hadn't gotten over your own homophobia if you weren't into a lot of
sex, and especially anal sex (Odets,
1995: 130).
The
Jeff Stryker Affair (Late '80s, Calgary): Generally, any idea that he was
"gay" was negated by the fact that a male could not be seen anally penetrate
him, nor at the "very least" was he permitting a penis to be in his mouth.
That he may be "bisexual" was also in question. So what is the definition
of a "gay" male? Still "trade" based?" Active/Passive? Is it only the "passive"
male who therefore gets the label(s): gay, homosexual, fag, etc.? A social
construction? Still the "Trade" definition?
As
I've listened to men speak about the transformative powers of getting fucked,
I often find myself relating to feelings and thoughts which seem to fall
out from the act. The relationship between receptive anal intercourse and
alternative visions of masculinity and male identity has struck me as particularly
appealing. A penetrated man remains a man, but he may be different from
men who don't get fucked. As a man in the latter category, I feel the difference
acutely (Rofes,
1996: 169).
"I
remember very well the first time I got fucked. Exhausted and relaxed after
all-afternoon sex, I lay sprawled on my boyfriend's bed and uttered those
fateful words "do anything you want with me"... I knew what was about to
happen. I had no fear, only a deep sense of relaxation. It didn't hurt,
but at the moment of penetration, one self died and another was reborn.
An 'initiation', certainly...
...What feelings does being fucked
stir within me? Two words perhaps, describe them best - abandonment and
possession. In being fucked, I am abandoning my ego-defences, opening myself
at a deep level to another person, and able to cast aside the socially-crafted
'masks' I put on to deal with the world. I abandon myself to total pleasure,
and to the pleasure of my lover... A lover's orgasm within me brings
about a feeling of deep peace and satisfaction. I feel as though I have
been revitalised, and can go forth into the world with an inner glow. I
regret deeply, in these AIDS - conscious times, that I cannot receive into
myself a lover's semen. Yet it is as though in abandoning myself to another,
I reaffirm my sense of selfdom" (Phil
Hine).
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