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May, 1999

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The Miriam Case Study
Introduction / Contents

Save-The-World Kids /
STW  Factor - Index -
The Save-The-World Factor in Anorexia
Part 1: Miriam's First Letter

Contact Letter From Miriam

To: pierre@youth-suicide.com
Subject: Save the world factor & EATING DISORDERS
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1998 12:24:32


I'm not really sure how I should begin, so let me get straight to the point. I'm 20 years old girl from [Name of country deleted, but located in Europe} - that's the other part of the globe - and I've been living with so called "anorexia" for quite a long time - 7 years (officially). I have never been hospitalized because I never let anyone get involved in my problem. In fact, I didn't really perceive it as problem - it was simply my way of life, a way of getting out of "there", living in a nice , natural, "good" world, without all of the unnecessary garbage; I was featherlight, calm and sad. Always so sad. So disappointed. I didn't know what was wrong with me. Why am I like this?

It is no use me telling you the whole of my history but I was "the good girl" - always first, always the best, always perfect. But not always. As a little child I was wild and cowboy-like, I was a real rebel, stealing, fighting and experiencing sex by the age of five. But "they"- the society - managed to get me "on the right track" (as they like to say it). I nonetheless always somehow knew that something was wrong. Something was so very wrong.

This world was just not what it was supposed to be. I didn't know what it was supposed to be, really, but I just felt it was wrong. We were all (the people) wrong, as if we did not know (maybe had forgotten) - why we are here. So I decided to make myself better - if not perfect. I started exploring myself, learning about my mind, my "soul", everything. I read philosophers, classics, yogists, etc., all the possible stuff. It only made things worse, for I felt even stronger that people did not realize what they were doing in this world; this world was going to hell, and I felt I should do something about it (Note 1).

I then ended up always somewhere in between: either I let everything be and the whole world goes to hell, or I go to hell along with the whole world. Last year I decided that I wanted to get out of that anorexia, that I wanted to be normal. I learned everything possible, read tons of books and finally - when I had learned so much but was still unable to get out of it (anorexia), I found Peggy Claude Pierre on the Internet [and then read her book].

At first I was astonished; I loved this women - she was my solution. Of course we couldn't afford to get me there, but we followed her "programme"- with one exception - I never let anyone take the responsibility off my shoulders. I didn't know why at the time, I just felt it was so. I must say that the approach really does work. It does make the kids "normal" again, meaning that it does make them the same as everyone else in the society. It persuades them that they do not need to fulfill their MANDATE; they are forced to accept society's value system and the dictated way of life.

In doing this, however, their ESSENCE is killed, and a new robot is produced. That I can assure you. For I managed to become "normal" by that approach (Note 2). I returned to university and for the very first time in my life tried to live as other kids do, but it almost killed me. For the first time in my life I felt that I could die. I began to wish to die, but I also felt that there was no way I could have taken my own life. Something sensed within me had made me feel that I had a mission and killing myself would have been a betrayal of this. So I now find myself trapped. So trapped.

As I have said, the OBJECTIVITY approach, does work, I've been applying it to myself, but it is so unfair to this kids. It's forcing them to live a life they don't want to. It's killing their "inner child." It's producing a normal human being. It's bull-shit.  So what was I to do? I was in deep trouble and kept searching for something, somewhere, that could help me better understand what was happening to me.

Then, I stumbled upon your Internet pages. Thank you so much for putting them out, I fell somewhat better, though I'm still in the same shit. If you please have any suggestions I'd be so grateful to you. I guess the only way for me - or us to survive - is to do something so that people understand better the kids you have described to exist with almost no one recognizing this fact, and much harm therefore being done to them - as it was done to me.  But what are we on earth for?

Expecting your note - SAVE THE WORLD KID - Miriam (Note 3)

Additional Information about Miriam and others in a new page: Carl Gustav Jung & Other Save-The-World Kids ! ? Perceiving psychosis in a different way.

Notes / References

Note 1: There are many who would like to invalidate the feelings of our brightest children (or adults) who, given our history of abusing others and all life forms on this planet, end up feeling that there is something desperately wrong with humanity as we know it. We may also like to invalidate their feelings or conclusion - based on good data - or on just having to ability to "see" - that WE are "going to hell." I quote from the January 1999 Perspectives newsletter produced by the University of Calgary's International Centre:
Ours is a world in turmoil, with a growing gap between the rich and the poor, increasing levels of conflict, rapid depletion of natural resources, and unprecedented levels of pollution. We are in need of alternative visions and options.
The forever age of ethnic 'cleansing' is also still with us, meaning that we have learned little from our history of abusing - even mass-murdering - others, usually under the banner of what is called "war." War have been an ongoing human activity which includes the transformation of words like "murder" and "mass-murder" into other expressions like "inflicting casualties on the enemy."

These ready-made culturally sanctioned deceptions - via the use of words - would be odious to STW kids given their ability to "see," as made possible by a likely poor development of "object relations." psychiatrists also associate with serious personality disorders. In other words, STW individuals could easily become a child being transformed into casualties by the normal ones who have historically hated other human group and behaved accordingly. Thus, one becomes a two-year-old Jewish girl destined for the Nazi ovens (but is gassed first), and one also becomes a hated Japanese two-year-old girl who is located at varying distances from ground-zero as the Allies detonate an atomic bomb (or super-oven) above the city in which she lives. Who, in the two historical events - would be deemed "the most inhumane and cruel" - from the child's sensory-based perspective, as opposed to the rationalized perspectives of their murderers?

WE therefore are (have always been) in "self-perception" trouble, maybe even in great need of the ones we could label "save-the-world" kids. But, as Jesus made evident, these kids would have the highly dangerous habit of holding up a mirror to human collectives, the result being the transparency of their greater-than-pathological highly lethal hypocrisy. What, however, would these STW individuals look like, if they are still among us? How would they think and why? Is it possible for these individuals to remain with us? If not, why not? Even more important, given our history of not being kind to "save-the-world" individuals, could WE be inherently harming these kids in many ways, simply by just remaining as we have always been?

Note 2:  For "X", being normal - or becoming normal - was also a monumental issue implicated in his suicide. Follow this link to related information.

Note 3: When an individual writes a letter, there are sometimes assertions which will be qualified later, as Miriam did when reading (and commenting on) this web page so that everything would  be as correct as possible. With respect to "the STW kid" assertion, she states:

I don't really think I was 'claiming' STW status - I didn't know whether I had one or not (though I signed myself the way I did) - It was more like being afraid that I might be in the category too, and I was essentially asking you to tell me if that is so - and what then, if it is?
In other words, Miriam was seeking validation of an inner "state of being" not yet having an official name - as I discovered in 1993 when, by chance, I went to an aboriginal counseling centre where a woman was reported to know about "my problem." As I learned, this "problem" had been commonly observed and it was also associated with individuals manifesting the most serious life-threatening problems. It also had been given the name: "The Save-The-World Problem." I then used the expression to render the concept, but removed the word "problem," given the inherent need for a 'cure' implied by the word. The "problems" for STW kids are related to the nature of the world in which they find themselves, but only because they have a wonderful inner attribute greatly at odds with the not-so-nice human collectives which have generally precluded the long term presence of STW kids among US.

Miriam also elaborated on her first contact with my work: "

Then on my way to seeking information - I found the "X" letter (found that before reading anything from you ) - and was sort of 'hit' when I read someone revealing the thoughts I would never in my whole life have dared to tell anyone - cause I could hear the world saying: "Who the f... do you think you are? Ripe for mental hospital... Get grounded!" So I ventured in your files and was 'hit' again after reading your comments about Peggy  - same reason as above.. You articulated what I suspected - but dared not even think about - for if the concept that helped me get out 'was wrong' I might be all wrong as well..."
As Miriam was to later more fully realize, it was not Peggy Claude-Pierre's basic discovery which was in error, but what was being done as the result of having made the discovery. For a number of reasons, Miriam altered the path prescribed to end the anorexia situation - without any major compromise of her inner STW attribute. She was also greatly helped in this respect by two very special individuals: her doctor who never used "pathological" labels when Miriam reported her STW-related aspirations to him, and her father was also very supportive with respect to her manifested STW attributes. Therefore, Miriam (as it also happened to me) was receiving monumentally important "validations,"  and she reported these events to have been the most significant factor in her recovery from an anorexic state; she then weighed 31 kilograms (68 pounds). Given her 165 centimetres (5 feet, 5 inches) height, such a low weight meant that she was very close to death if 'something' important had not occurred. Reading Peggy Claude-Pierre's book, The Secret Language of Eating Disorders helped, but the remainder of the story is yet to be told.

Email:   Pierre Tremblay: ----- pierre@youth-suicide.com ----- (403) 245-8827

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